Masteral Anxieties

In a few short weeks my batchmates - whether from UST  or not - would be graduating from college and would be thrust into the even scarier world of unemployment. Whether one admits it or not, a fresh graduate's greatest fear is not being able to find a place that would accept him - no matter if you came from the best university in the Philippines, or a simple one that doesn't even qualify as a uni just yet.

The funny thing about graduation looming over all of you is that everyone starts to panic. They start clamoring for jobs, and this little condition spreads until the entire senior class is twitchy with anticipation, anxiously waiting for their phones to ring, with a promise of a job interview, or beep with a new email notification from an interested company.

As for me, aside from you know, emailing every company with a communications department known to thje country, I've been thinking of military training (Yup.) and if that wasn't enough, I've also began considering graduate school - cray, right?

Screen cap of my application form to the College of Mass Communication,  University of the Philippines

At first, I was really confident, I felt really confident - confident enough to give our my recommendation form. But, as the night wore on, the high started to fade away, as reality began to sink in.

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?

Applying to UP. UP of all schools.

Did I really think I stood a chance at passing? I failed the UPCAT once - it was devastating. Sure, I tell people it was expected, but seriously, that had been a huge blow for me. I don't want to experience that all over again.

But then again, every single bone in my body is calling for the bloody University. I want to go so badly. So, so badly - but, I might not pass. Honestly, have you seen the people in UP? Ano ang kinaya ko sa kaya nila?